The Men & The Gentlemen

Today, 19th of November is observed as International Men’s Day. To begin with, warm wishes to all the men out there who are reading this. Also, to women who are lucky to be associated with men that make this world a better place. 

We talk about equality, and perhaps it is only applicable when its about human rights and wages. The very fact of human existence originates in differences that unite. Recreation, involves two genders and what combination results is also either of two genders. Among the X and Y, the one ‘X/Y’ changes the game. From physical features to social norm, reality differs for both genders. Everything in between that includes experiences, benefits, disadvantages, roles, responsibility are shaped by what beliefs constitute themselves and their surroundings. The psychological characteristics of men and women differ too. When tested empirically, men were found to be high on certain domains whereas women had high scores on other domains. There were instances where both genders had similar scores on few aspects. These dimensions range from personality traits to behaviors. What’s more interesting is, it is not a rule to differ. 

Men’s emotions are so important that adding ‘as important as women’s emotions’ is an insult. The society which mocks at men that cry is a disgrace. The people who judge men based on their preferences of how long they want their hair to be and whether or not they have a beard; they are what saddens the human in me. For so long men were told to not express what they utterly love and gel up with what was expected of them. What’s often highlighted is the privilege that men enjoy by being men. But did anyone ask them if privilege is what they term it as? 

Not all men are worth the praise. Those who qualify as ‘bad guys’ on merit of their own sinful behavior. The extremes being rape to subtle yet pathetic attitudes of male chauvinism. The kind of men that not only are a trouble to opposite gender, but to the title ‘men’ as well. 

Who, in fact needs to be hyped is the real men; the gentlemen that make this world a better place. The ones who are humane, the learners, the honest communicators, those who express, those who strive, the ones that build themselves up, those that feel, embrace emotions as much as they play with logic, the silent ones, the face of their success, the simple ones, the simplistic ones, brave and not-so-brave, emotionality responsible, mature, independent, dependent by choice, loving, those that prefer to be homemakers over businessmen, those that handle chores with work, dads that change diapers of their kids, husbands that celebrate victories of their own and of their wife, family man or a solo adventurer, men that respect, tall or average, with 6 packs or flat… So many shades of being a man and then those of being a real gentlemen. What a myth it is if we still think being a man is easy. 

We know so many people belonging to the male group, yet there are those few in our life who make us believe in the bright side of having known them and that they exist. 

The gentlemen aren’t all perfect and ideal, rather they are raw and real. They are ready to unlearn and upgrade. With bravery they look into their own heart and know what they want. Their words are emotions. Staying true to self and what belongs to them. The real men, who belong: to their and self.

Being a woman, I surely do not know what it exactly feels like to be a man. But, you men know. Never let anyone tell you otherwise. Stay true to your authentic self. 

I strongly believe, it is very important to acknowledge and be loud about who you are proud of. To the gentlemen and of them; everything that makes them who they are and their every effort in who they are evolving into. I am proud of you!

May we (women) know them, feel them, and be a part of their wonderful journey. You; men and gentlemen, may you be YOU! In a parallel universe; may we raise them with love and responsibility. 

Are you celebrating the men in your life? Are you celebrating your day, men? Take honors. Own it. Own who you are, own who you are becoming. Celebrate, in your own ways. Today and every other day. 

Love, J.