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Solitude redefined

Since the time an individual is born, they find themselves being associated with people. It then becomes appropriate to use the pronoun 'we'. We humans; are social beings hence affiliation and affection are the natural A's for us. Still, 'I' remains. The ways this 'I' is regarded by masses differs; but what prevails is how it is being defined by the entity that lives with the same I.

While someone uses it for merely referring to their being; it is what another's being is. 

I take an opportunity to dive into the sea of solitude as I stand at the threshold of 'I'. According to me, solitude has the power which few people can handle. Why? Its got to do with how solitude has been defined and portrayed to you. This 'state of being alone' can be connected with positive and/or negative aspects. Your cultural background also plays a role in how you perceive 'being alone'. No doubt that your experiences will make you want to define it the way it best reflects your life. I have always seen solitude as a coping mechanism and a force that preserved me. It has been solitude that helped me cross oceans that I was inclined to. But let me highlight the fact that when you leave a shore, it is not the same shore that you see again. Oceans here can be seen in form of career, opportunities, changes in life, transformations, happiness, duty, responsibility, compromises, choices, while visualize the shore as the people you associate with. It is not possible to take the shore along with you. Not all shores close their gates for you to return, however the way you leave leaves an impact on how you arrive. I hope you make the departures as smooth, as honest returns. 

I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude.-Thoreau 
The above quote hits me every time I read it. How so precise? If you revive, you have been with you when you first cried and you will be with you when you no longer will be able to shed a tear. Throughout life, humans are companions and they seek companionship. It takes some to lose themselves to stop from losing someone they care. Others stay committed to their own self. Regardless of the kind you are; as long as you find real happiness, you got it covered! I believe, happiness that lasts can be cherished when you are your authentic self irrespective of the circumstances. Imagine losing your reality; then you seldom have anything left thereafter.

I do not mean to be pessimistic but I wish to convey how one can built themselves even if its solitude that is to be chosen. I say, 'Surrounded by many, but cannot count on any.' because one doesn't get to rely completely on others around. Solitude is that responsibility, that vow which you take silently; to be always there by your side and for you. Alone; so be it!

In case you wonder; alone and lonely mean different things altogether. A person that is alone most of the times is not necessarily lonely. They have people they relate to, some bonds they cherish, and people to reach out to and the greater good they engage themselves in. Lonely is a feeling rather than a reality. Hence let's not abuse the word lonely when what we want to mention is a state of being alone.

Going back to solitude, knowing certain aspects that accompany the same can be helpful. From my experience; choosing solitude is to choose oneself. Solitude may have implications in form of breaking away from people you ones bonded with and at times they breaking away from you. Solitude is not easy. Trust me when I say this, you got to carry it well. It can be a difficult path and has its own challenges. It is you who decides if that is what you want. Making easy choices is indeed easy; but making correct choices and sticking to it takes dedication.

Solitude is a state.There will be times when you are in other state of being; when you would like to be surrounded my people and loved to the core. Make your existence such that these other phases of living doesn't become difficult because of the otherwise preferred solitary states. It is not an advice but a suggestion. Suggestion that, it is a healthy habit to communicate when you want solitude and then going forward with it. It makes life less of a turmoil for you and your people when you are honest about your intentions.

Solitude does wonders. My solitude has helped me in knowing myself better. It has facilitated hard work. Often helped in seeing things from a distance, to know what mattered to me and what matters. As much as it encouraged me to stay loyal to myself and not lose myself; the same solitude has made me realize how much I value my people.

I reach the concluding part with an overwhelmed heart. On most days when all I had was me, I survived. I have built myself in company of solitude. But with enough care that I did not risk the genuine souls who deserved to me cherished. Being selfish can poison the act of solitude. To let it not get shaded with selfishness, keep a track on your behavior. Stay in touch with people who matter to you.Transitions between solitary state and states of being surrounded by people are humane. However, your ways of doing them is what sets the stage.

What a beauty solitude is; to those who know how to handle it.

Regards,
J.

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